the day heero finally lost his marbles
by Winged-Magus
Summary: heero=insanity
1. chapter 1

Disclaimer: Wah!!! I don't own Gundam Wing and I wish I did but I don't so please don't sue me because I am poor and have no need to make anyone at any ownership thingie angry at me.  
  
  
  
The day Heero lost his marbles:  
  
Heero Yuy peered down at the mal l floor down below wishing Duo hadn't decided to get lunch at McDonalds. Already the line up was halfway down the center of the mall and it was growing. To make matters worse, they were at the end of the line, which made him want to kill every person who walked up behind him.  
  
He cast another glance back at the hungry mob and almost threw up, seeing Quatre in the pinkest, frilliest most disgusting pink pink pink shirt and pants. Trowa was walking behind him, holding a pink bag and a pair of pink socks. " What's with the socks Trowa? I thought you were going to get ice cream." He said sarcastically. Trowa rolled his eyes. " Quatre spotted a pink warehouse selling things at a discount. Your not going to believe what he bought. New wardrobe for everyone." The uni-bang bobbed in the air conditioning. " Duo's not going to like this. He expected double chocolate ice cream and I think he's going to go insane if he doesn't get any." Heero turned back to the line up. " Bugger this! How many people could eat McDonald's at this time of day anyway?" He scowled and walked briskly towards a table.  
  
Trowa sat down next to him. " Come on Heero. Do it for the team. Were all really hungry and I'm sure even the perfect soldier wants something to eat. It's a good thing." Trowa burbled. Heero scowled darkly. " Too much Martha Stewart huh Trowa."  
  
Trowa stuck out his tongue. " Ha ha. Actually I did catch an episode that was on last night around 4 am. Must decorate walls… eh..Heheheh." Trowa wonked out into a dreamscape and became unreachable.  
  
Heero sighed and noticed a fly hovering an inch above his friends head. Smash! He missed, smacking Trowa upside the head. The boy flinched and yowled.  
  
"Ow. What was that for?" Trowa grumbled, fishing a pair of pink socks from under the table. " A fly was above your head." Heero frowned and began to track the enemy once more. His eyes narrowed, following the fly's zig zaging path around the table. As luck would have it, the fly landed on the table right in front of him. SMASH!!!  
  
Fly guts plastered the smooth eating area. Trowa stuck out his tongue. " Gross. Did you have to dismember it on the table?" He scowled and stashed the socks inside his bag. Duo approached the table bearing a HUGE platter of French fries and hamburgers covered in melted cheese. He plopped the tray down next to Heero and began to count out the change and return it to the silent pilot. " Yum! They had the best lunch in the entire area Heero! You should have stood with me, so you could get your lunch!" He hovered greedily over the pile of food. Heero smiled dangerously. " Want to see something Duo?" He picked up the tray and revealed the dead fly. Duo's face turned green. " um…on second thought, anyone want to share my lunch?" His braid swung as he took a seat slightly behind the tray and squished fly.  
  
Quatre ran up to the table clutching a chocolate chip cookie in his pale hands. " Duo! Their having a sale on cookies in basken robins! And the cinnamon bun place is handing out free samples!" He exclaimed, chewing happily with chocolate smeared all over his face. Forgetting about the squished body under his tray, Duo ran after Quatre with the rest of Heero's change.  
  
" Never give an idiot spare change." Heero made a mental note. Trowa fished a French fry from under a greasy dripping burger and nodded. They proceeded to finish what was edible and not covered in cheese film. When the others returned, Wufei had joined the ranks and was bearing a box of Tim Horton's doughnuts in a timbits box. Eyebrows rose methodically as he sat down. " They had a sale on doughnuts. 500 for two dollars. Mummm. Cream filled timbits and chocolate glaze…." He drooled.  
  
Once lunch was finished, they proceeded home, stalked by Relena. Quatre's limo pulled up beside his pure pink mansion. The door opened and the five pilots marched out, each clutching Quatre's shopping. They each were forced to return multiple times in order to get all of the bags. Then they were forced to model each and every item of clothing that had been purchased. Aww's and ummm were spouting all over the place. And then it was time for Heero to make his debut dressed in blood red clothing. There was a scream and then a meep, which had come from Duo. Trowa looked mystified. " How come his track pants look better then the other ones that you bought? I thought you got us all the same junk?" he grumbled. Quatre blinked in surprise. " I must have purchased the wrong size. I mean, it looks like it fits perfectly. I somehow managed to get an item of clothing that fit dead on…. strange." His blonde hair flopped as he spoke. Duo grinned.  
  
Heero stood wearing the tightest, revealing red track pants and a very strange t-shirt that read, " I am king of the world" on it. He did not look happy. " I am not wearing this." He proclaimed, growling dangerously. Quatre smiled. " Yes you are." "No I am not." "Yes you are." "No I am not!" "Yes you are."  
  
This continued for around four hours.  
  
Much to everyone's dismay, Heero ended up having to not wear the clothes because of the fact that he had his friend " Gun". The rest of them were forced to wear the clothes, Wufei in his neon yellow tracksuit with a pink headband. Trowa wearing a greenish puke colour with a yellow headband. Duo with a dark purple lilac coloured t-shirt that said, " I love Quatre" on it, and of course it couldn't be complete until Quatre joined in the festivities wearing a pink shirt and pants. ( the shirt reading, " I'm rich so get over it.)  
  
Heero had only one problem with the arrangement. He was beginning to get disturbed by all the multi coloured people wandering around. The Gold was giving him a headache; the puke green made him want to throw up and the" I love Quatre" shirt was going to make him insane.  
  
Insane. What a funny word. He thought.  
  
It was then that Quatre decided to give Heero his gift. He handed the spandex clad pilot a package that looked like a shoebox.  
  
It was wrapped in a pinkish tinted teal colour. Heero didn't like the look of it.  
  
He shook it.  
  
Nothing moved.  
  
He poked it.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
He even tried Duo's patented " shake it like crazy and then listen if anything moves" technique.  
  
And still nothing.  
  
Perhaps it really was just shoes. No…maybe a dead rat.  
  
No. That wasn't Quatre's style.  
  
Finally, he decided to open it.  
  
Inside laid the longest floppiest ickiest shoes he had ever seen. They were like pink tennis shoes with pink tassels and had the most gross, evil, nasty neon green insoles.  
  
Definitely something from Quatre. He looked at them and then up at Quatre who was beaming.  
  
" And I am supposed to do what with this?" He held them out at arms length away from his body.  
  
" You wear them! Aren't they nice! I thought you might like them in those colours. Go ahead! Try them on!" he glimmered with hope.  
  
Heero frowned. His head was beginning to hurt. The floppiness….  
  
His left eye began to twitch uncontrollably. " I ….don't know what to say…." He snarled and threw them in the blondes face.  
  
" i….shoes….AHGRLY!" he snarled and leapt onto the wrapping paper, tearing it to shreds. " Me no like pink. PINK! ARG!!!" he grabbed the shoes in his mouth and began to tear them to shreds.  
  
Quatre stared at the insane youth perplexed.  
  
" That's funny…I thought you liked pink…"  
  
Heero bared his fangs and clamped onto Quatre's ankle. Snarling once more he began to saw away at the flesh. Quatre let out the girliest of his screams alerting the others that something had gone terribly wrong.  
  
Trowa tore into the room and found Heero, foaming at the mouth dragging Quatre around by the ankles leaving a trail of urine and blood. He began to pace, Quatre flopping around behind him.  
  
A slight smile crept across the hysterical Heero's mouth. " I like…. must…eat…. hahahahah….. love….eat… Quatre…lunch….doughnuts….blood….too much…head hurt…must KILL….MUST KILL!!!!"  
  
Proclaiming this he dropped Quatre and set about trying to kill Trowa with the pair of shoes.  
  
WAP! Once, Twice. Wincing, Trowa ran for all he was worth and more. Duo's head popped out from another side of the wall. " What the hell???" he noticed Heero and bolted.  
  
The chase was on.  
  
With a snarl, he chased after the braided boy, lured by the pink scrunchy flailing. Through the kitchen and into Wufei, Heero snarled, leapt across the table and tackled Duo. Falling down onto the hard floor, the braided boy screamed girlishly and flailed.  
  
Wufei blinked in surprise. It wasn't every day you got to witness Heero trying to eat people. Deciding to get his camera, he left Duo to fend for himself.  
  
Trowa picked up the pink sheet and decided to try and save the screaming inconvenience. He shook it above his head and shouted " oh Heero! Pink! I got something pink for you!"  
  
Heero raised his head, his eyes dilated into slits of green evilness. He yowled like a angry predator and launched himself across the void, totally bypassing the floor. Trowa bolted, dragging the pink sheet behind him. There was the clatter of feet on the carpet and then silence as the chase went on to the rest of the house. A snarl rose occasionally, but that was all Duo could hear.  
  
Trowa ran. Left, right…it didn't matter. Where ever he went Heero was already there. It was impossible to out maneuver him. During the way, Heero had somehow managed to find a pink feather and was chewing it as he tracked Trowa. " Hungry." He licked his chops happily. He noticed a sheet lying on the ground. Ignoring the erg to shred it, he tore after the puke green boy. A door slammed in the hallway.  
  
Growling, he located it and began to smash himself against the door.  
  
Quatre's room.  
  
Trowa located the vent cover and crawled up into it. He re screwed the vent up so Heero couldn't follow and then began to crawl through the winding tunnels looking for escape. He felt like a rat in a cage. The walls looked like they were going to close in on him. He crawled faster and faster until his hands were blistered and he really had to pee. He peered down and noticed that he was now above a bathroom. An open toilet gleamed in the incandescent light. He shrugged, unzipped his fly and peed down into the toilet, totally missing his mark. Oh well. At least he didn't have to go now.  
  
And he was the only one who knew which bathroom it was in. Ah…To be able to blame Duo so effortlessly made him sure he would get around that little problem. 


	2. Duo joins in on the fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing…if I did, I would be a millionaire and would be the Bahamas, but I am not and there fore I don't own gundam wing. This is purely for humor's benefit and I hope that I will be humored!!  
  
Chapter two of Heero looses his marbles.  
  
Below him, Trowa noticed the doorknob turning. Eerily it turned once. Twice. Deciding not to stay and view the person who was peeing or wanted to eat him, he clambered along.  
  
Duo sat up and wiped drool off of his head. His scrunchy was all chewed up and al that was left was his elastic band encase of emergencies. Hastily he tied up his hair and dragged his drool soaked form to the nearest bathroom. He turned the knob and found that the drool on his hands wouldn't allow him to open it. He tried again. Still couldn't open the door. He tried again and managed to let himself in. he smiled and wobbled a little as he slipped in the pee soaked room. Snarling like a crazy man he had a spas attack in the hallway. All of his hair ties were soaked in pee. His left eye twitched. He snarled and began to search for the culprit. On hands and knees he began to sniff the carpet, trying to identify the owner. His eyes narrowed, as he smelled Heero's sent. Yowling like a animal, he tore after Heero on hands and feet, his braid like a tail swinging merrily behind him. 


End file.
